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| If you've ever argued with an eloquent person whom you knew was wrong, you know that it is difficult business.
When an eloquent person argues, it already sounds correct. You're fighting against some tough odds. Oftentimes you, in turn, begin to choke and stumble on your words, making your argument sound like completely invalid gibberish.
Consequently, you become incredibly frustrated, lose your sense of confidence, and either give up on trying to fight back or fight back with full force -- which, at this point, doesn't mean a damn thing because you're just trying to find something, ANYTHING, to say. Your words melt into actual gibberish, lacking structure and substance. Eloquent Person walks away, smugly satisfied in glorious victory.
You can be right in every way, shape, or form, but without the right words to say, you don't stand a fighting chance. | | |
| It was just a regular day, pretty damn much, until that happened.
I was done with classes for the day, so I headed home. The sun was still out, shining bright as ever. One interesting thing did happen to me on my way home though - a lady didn't notice me when I crossed the street and slammed on the brake, stopping the car when it was 2 inches away from my body. She covered her mouth, wide-eyed, and continued on her way. I shook it off.
It was around 4:10PM when I approached my apartment, and I noticed a shady looking character lurking around the sidewalk in front. He appeared to be walking past, but very, very slowly. He lingered. He glanced at me. I felt uncomfortable so I hurried inside, and thinking he was gone, walked to my elevator. I heard the building door close... and then I heard him enter. He had somehow managed to slip in before the door had shut. He walked right up next to me.
"Uhh... is this uhh... the right room? Uhh this is the elevator?"
As soon as these words came out of his mouth, I immediately tensed up. He didn't live in this apartment complex. He didn't have a reason to be here.
"Elevator's too slow," I mumbled as I nervously left and turned the corner into the stairwell. I walked 2 steps up when I was suddenly pulled back by the handle of my backpack. I fell back down the stairs and the man forcefully pushed me to the corner.
"GIVE ME ALL YOUR SHIT, BITCH!"
I screamed at him, "GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF!" but he only became more determined. He pinned me to the ground, trying to restrain me.
"HELP! HELP!!!!" SOMEONE HELP ME!" I continued to scream. He tried to cover my mouth, but I tore my face away. His long beaded necklace dangled in front of me and I quickly took advantage of that. I tugged it side to side, yanking his head and neck around, screaming the entire time.
"WHAT'S GOING ON?" came another voice. My neighbor had heard my screaming and was now downstairs.
The man immediately jumped off of me and acted confused.
"Uhhh... yeah... what's going on...?" he said and headed towards the entrance door. As soon as he exited the building, he ran.
"Oh my God, oh my God." was all I could say for the next 5 minutes. "Thank you for being here. Oh God... Oh my God..." I sobbed hysterically.
"It's okay... It's okay now..."
My neighbor, "B," took me upstairs, where another neighbor, "J," was standing in the hallway. J, too, had heard the commotion and came out to see what was going on. B told J what had happened and I asked if we could call the police. J ran to get a phone and soon enough, the police arrived at my building.
Luckily, B had also seen my assaulter so B and I both gave the police as many details as we could recall.
Also luckily for me, I wasn't hurt too badly. I have a few minor bruises that are already disappearing, and I didn't really hit my head very hard. I also have all my possessions, and none of them were damaged during the incident.
BUT PLEASE
If you see a dark-skinned black man with shoulder-length dreads, white t-shirt, & gold beaded necklace, please report him to the police.
AND ALWAYS BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS! | | |
| i will never be there for you. there was a time i would have risked life and limb but i was blinded by "love"
i hope your next boyfriends are real dicks, i hope they beat you, you deserve that kind of man.
ur lucky ur good looking, because you are rotten inside.
Guess he doesn't take break-ups well. | | |
| Last night, he told me he had lied about sleeping around.
The Girl
He has a female friend who likes to get drunk a lot. She would do this far from home. Each time, she'd stay out so late that she wouldn't be able to go home that night. Then she would call him to ask if she could sleep over. She did this many times, intentionally. He told me that he knew it was intentional.
Although he let her stay over several times, he said he never reciprocated when she'd flirt and try to do things with him.
Last night, I discovered that they fucked. Twice.
He always told me that his parents were crazy for getting upset, because all he did was let a drunk friend crash and that nothing happened between them.
Man, do I feel dumb for believing it.
Our Relationship
The relationship began in 2005. I dated him in high school for 2 years. We broke up when we got to college, each dated someone new, then got back together January of this year.
Just to put things into context, when we got back together, we established it as an open relationship.
His reasoning behind wanting it to be "open" was that he doesn't believe in restricting anyone with rules.
BUT he also said that he never had the urge or need to do anything with anyone else, that I was enough for him.
The Problem
Being that it was an open relationship, what he did was technically allowed.
Here's the problem. I am hurt because:
1. I was lied to for months.
2. I was led on to believe that the "openness" of our relationship was purely technical.
3. He doesn't see eye-to-eye with me about sex and love.
What He Says
His reasoning behind lying was that I "instructed him to." I remember telling him once that I didn't want to hear things about other girls if it were to happen. He led me to believe that things wouldn't happen anyway.
Obviously, I later wanted to know because I asked him straight-out. (This involves my health.) He constantly reassured me that nothing ever happened with anyone else.
Only last night did he tell me the truth because by then, he was convinced that I "actually really did want to know" since I asked him several times by that point.
SIDE NOTE
Something I would like to point out. There is a difference between:
1. "Hey guess what? Last night I had sex with this one girl. She was FINE, and it felt really good."
2. "Have you slept with anyone else?" "Nope." "Really?" "Really." "Are you sure?" "I'm sure." "Okay. I love you." "I love you too."
1 = not wanting to hear it
2 = being lied to/led on
He said that he does feel bad for making me upset and hurting me, but he doesn't regret what he did because he wanted to do it and he enjoyed it.
He said that he'd choose me over sex with other women, so if I can't handle an open relationship, he'd never do it again. However, he said that if he could have it his way, he'd want this to be an open relationship and still keep me.
My Thoughts
Sure, he says he can stop fucking around in order to be with me... and going along with that would be a quick resolution to the issue. But it's not an easy one. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about this relationship anymore.
This whole fiasco got me started on reevaluating our relationship in its entirety.
1. We don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of other things too. I was happy with him, but I've clicked a lot more with some of my other friends than I do with him, in terms of hobbies, music, beliefs, and general interests.
2. The only reason he'd be monogamous is because I want it. He would have to actively restrict himself from what he really wanted in order to be with me.
3. If he can say he loves me but then lie to me so easily, I could be manipulated just as easily in the future.
4. He doesn't understand how to deal with me and my emotions. Last night he said, "I know it sucks, but calm down. I told you this news an hour ago."
5. He likes to do what he wants, and doesn't find certain things wrong when most other people (including myself) do. [Random example: Scenario - Guy A and Guy B are best friends. Guy A and Girlfriend recently break up. Guy A is heartbroken. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with Guy B pursuing Guy A's ex-girlfriend, even if the break-up was fresh, even if Guy A is still hurting. He also doesn't think that it is necessary for Guy B to talk to Guy A about it first.]
Anyway. I'm going on a tangent and this post has gone on long enough. One more thing before I stop:
I'm not asking for advice. I know what to do: sort out what I really want. I'm also aware that these complications came with the package of an "open relationship." I just wanted to post this as a means of venting and organizing my thoughts.
[/End Rant] | | |
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